Dr. David D. Young
November 25, 2007
I John 1: 1-4
John 15: 9-17
"Finding Friendship"

Lucy, of the Peanuts Gang, is at her Psychiatric Help booth when along comes a depressed looking Charlie Brown. "And so I can’t help it," he begins. "I feel lonely…depressed." "This is ridiculous!" replies Lucy. "You should be ashamed of yourself, Charlie Brown. You’ve got the whole world to live in! There’s beauty all around you! There are things to do …great things to be accomplished! No one trods this earth alone! We are all together; one generation taking up where the other generation has left off!" Charlie Brown is reassured. "You’re right, Lucy! You’re right! You’ve made me see things differently!…I realize now that I am part of the world…I am not alone…I have friends!" And Lucy comes back with "Name one!"

We live in a time when it is difficult to find many true friends and loneliness pervades the human condition.

In a place like Greenwich (Old Greenwich) where many people have known each other for a long time – some of you may be thinking, "Well, I have lots of friends." And that is a wonderful gift. But I dare say there are some here today and some listening on the radio who are lonely and perhaps feel there aren’t many friends around. And whether we have lots of friends or only a few, I suspect we can all relate to the feeling of loneliness.

Certainly in a place like New York City there is a growing sense of loneliness. For while we’re more plugged in with cell phones, Ipods and the Internet, e-mails, text messaging and IM’ing - specialization, indifference, high mobility, job shifting and the fast pace of life don’t lend themselves automatically to close friendships. People are now dumping their "friends" by simply sending them a text message.

Families tend not to be quite as close as they once were. Fragmentation is felt in practically every life. Life moves at a fast-forward pace. And the old, comfortable groupings have transitioned into something different and certainly not as rooted.

I’m reminded of the words to one of Simon & Garfunkel’s most famous songs, "The Sounds of Silence"- which I just heard on the radio the other day.

"And in the naked light I saw ten thousand people, maybe more.
People talking without speaking, people hearing without listening,
people writing songs that voices never shared, no one dared
disturb the sounds of silence."

Loneliness grips us from within when what really matters most to us is precisely what we cannot discuss with another human being. "Before ol’ so and so came along, I led a shallow, meaningless and lonely life. Now it’s just shallow and meaningless." You see, some friendships provide companionship, but not much depth. Indeed, perhaps you’ve known such relationships.

When we go back to the first chapters of the book of Genesis we need to remember that the first thing God declared as not good was loneliness.

"It is not good that the man, the first human being, should be alone." Genesis 2:18

"Finding Friendship" - some people spend their whole life looking for it. Others gravitate to the first people that come along and stay with them the rest of their lives. Friendships can be found in neighbors, social organizations, businesses, clubs, and churches. One of the great things about friends is there’s no rule for finding them.

As a family of faith today, we do have some clues for "Finding Friendship." There is a parable in which a man is wandering about in a forest for several days, not knowing the way out. Suddenly, he saw a man approaching him. His heart was filled with joy. "Now I shall certainly find out which way is the right way," he thought. When they neared one another, he asked the stranger: "Tell me, kind sir, which way out of the forest? I have been wandering about in the trees for several days." The stranger answered: "Friend, I do not know the way out either, for I, too, have been searching about for many days. But this I can tell you; do not take the way I have been taking, for that will lead you nowhere. Let us look for a new way out together." That, in effect, is a parable for our family of faith.

We are journeyers in life, gathered together in this fellowship searching for God’s guidance and God’s light on the pathway. The moment we cease to find friendship, the moment we break faith with one another, is the moment when the light grows dim and darkness is on the horizon.

Hear the words of our gospel lesson which Betsy Kreuter read for us, "This is my commandment," said Jesus, "that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that a person lay down his or her life for his or her friends. You are my friends if you love one another."

In the hymn prior to the sermon, we sang, "What a Friend We Have In Jesus." But have we ever thought of ourselves as Jesus’ friends? That’s what he tells us we are when we love one another.

The love of our neighbor, finding that quality friendship is the only door out of the dungeon of loneliness. Coming out of self-isolation to the light of God around and within us is what finding friendship is all about.

A friend is someone who knows all about you and likes you and cares for you just the same. And we all need friends. To say we do not need a church - to say we do not need friendship and fellowship is certainly not Christian.

The entire New Testament is based on community and companionship in Christ. Hear these words from our passage for this morning:

"That which was from the beginning…which we have seen
and heard we proclaim also to you, so that you may have
fellowship with us; and our fellowship is with the Father
and with his Son, Jesus Christ. And we are writing this that
our joy may be complete."

Some texts read, "your joy." Celebrating our family of faith and finding friendship – it’s all connected. We are not complete in and of ourselves – our friends are a part of who we are. To be is to be related. It is a universal hungering of the heart. And yet, friendship can be the most pleasurable and most difficult of human relationships.

Being with a friend can be one of the most reassuring and comforting feelings in the world. And… friends can say the wrong thing at the wrong time without ever knowing it – and drive a stake right through our heart.

The flip side of all this of course is what do we bring to our friendship? I mean, if you were another person, would you want yourself for a friend? Acquaintances often try to impress or please. Friends are those who accept and care. Friendship is an ongoing state of being friends.

"Finding Friendship"

During this coming month of December we will be having at least three or four baptisms – as we welcome new, very young children into our friendship and family of faith. Today, we are receiving the gift – and I stress the word gift – of three new members into our family of faith – each of whom is a friend in Christ.

Friendship, fellowship, community, caring, love and joy are great – and so they are. But we must never fall into the trap of thinking that fellowship is merely warm fuzzies and feeling good amongst ourselves. Christ never gathers his body together to have us simply pat one another on the back, but to truly care and to serve.

A few weeks ago, Betsy Kreuter spoke as we lifted up service as "The Name of the Game" of life. And just last Sunday we celebrated Harvest Sunday by bringing in food items to share with the hungry right here in Greenwich and up in Orland, Maine with our friends from H.O.M.E.

I hope that as we grow in faithfulness, we will grow in our capacity to serve. "Greater love has no one than this," said Jesus, "that you give your life for your friends." "Love one another." Not just some others, but all others.

I am becoming increasingly convinced that one of the ways we can be a friend and therefore love all others is to love and be a friend of the earth. If we do not care for the earth and do something to curb global warming the consequences for children and their children the world round will be devastating. Working as individuals alone will not make enough of a difference We need to act as individuals with life-style issues and work together to insist that our government change policies sooner rather than later.

Being a friend to the earth is being a friend to all others the earth ‘round and into the future. I have written more specifically about this in the coming week’s newsletter. "Love one another", said Jesus. He had no idea about the toxins and pollutants we have been putting into the environment. But had he, I suspect he would say with some urgency,

Love one another and take care of this precious planet that God has given you. Love one another – not just some others – but all others. What Jesus did say is, "you should go and bear fruit."

True friendship is like a growing plant – it is life giving and life supporting. And that applies with our human friendships – one on one – and to our friendship with the earth. Anais Nin has written,

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

Through love and service and the birth of new friendship – God’s world becomes alive within us and around us! "Finding Friendship” in Christian fellowship and service is finding a special kind of friendship indeed. The New Testament Greek word for fellowship is "Koinonia." It literally means "common". It reminds us that our fellowship in Christ is not extraordinary but ordinary.

What makes it special is precisely that our friendships are not special in a preferential sense – but that we are all friends one of another and as such are to be friends with all of God’s children. Our finding friendship is not therefore, exclusive and with only those like us, but our fellowship in Christ is intended as a way of sharing God’s love with all people.

People who spend time together do not necessarily live true friendship and those who are not always together do not necessarily live without it. Yet, I would like to invite any of our radio listeners who are looking to find friendship - to come and find it here at First Congregational Church next Sunday at 10:00 a.m. or any time throughout the coming Advent and Christmas season. My hope is that if you do, you will find Christian warmth and God’s love overflowingly present.

For the primary quality beyond all warm fuzzies in friendships is a deeper sense of being gathered together by God to be about God’s purposes. As the great essayist, Ralph Waldo Emerson encourages,

"Go often to the house of a friend, for weeds choke the unused path."

What a friend we have in Jesus and what a friend we can be to Jesus. Friends, let us go often to the house of our friend – to the house of the Lord – for from it we will go forth nourished to bear fruit because we do love one another. Fellowship and joy go hand in hand. "Love one another", said Jesus, "and these things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."

Finding friendship at First Congregational Church - and beyond – that we may share it with all others and the world. May it be so in Jesus Christ our Lord. Instead of inviting someone to speak during the sermon about friendship today, I thought it would be appropriate to conclude by allowing all of us to embody the gift of friendship by greeting each other now in the friendship of Christ.