Dr. David D. Young
April 29, 2007
Psalm 73: 1-3, 13-28
Matthew 6: 1-15
"The Problems of Prayer"

Last week Ron did a wonderful job in preaching a sermon about doubt. It was called "Flipping the Coin of Doubt" and he showed how belief and doubt are inextricably bound up together in authentic faith. He mentioned that it requires prayer to help us sort through all that and come to some of the deeper, more profound spiritual truths in our life. And that’s where we want to pick it up this morning with prayer.

Now I want you to think back in your mind’s eye to sometime when you were around a family dinner table and a prayer was being shared and try to remember if you ever experienced anything like this. A table grace was being offered by one of the children and a parent whispered to one of the other kids in the middle of the prayer – "Keep your eyes closed while your sister is praying." To which that one piped up and said, "But how do you know my eyes are open?"

Children – aren’t they incredible? Actually, they really are incredible! But that’s not our primary focus this morning.

Today it is toward prayer and the problems of prayer that I would like to direct our attention. In preparing for this sermon I tried to come up with some of the problems of prayer and I came up with a list of a round dozen. I’m sure there are many more – but these happened to be the ones that came to my mind.

In preaching, I don’t normally make lists – because it’s my sense that no one will remember all twelve and that’s not the point anyway. It is my hope that each of you will connect with a few of the resistances to prayer that I reflect on and then go to work on those – if you want to discover how God can truly make more of a difference in your life.

The first problem of prayer and perhaps the most predictable is time. Simply put, it is not having, not taking, or not making time for prayer. Making and taking time to pray is a problem. And for those for whom this is a problem I do not need to mention all the pressures and distractions on your time - you know what they are.

Finding time to pray, precisely when we don’t feel we have time to is actually a good problem to have – for it reminds us that we can’t do it all anyway. As we face each day is our attitude, "I’m too busy to pray," or "I’m too busy not to pray?"

A second problem of prayer is habit. Not doing something that is good for you can be just as much a habit as doing something regularly you know isn’t good for you. Some of us may simply not be in the habit of praying. And like most other things – such as jogging, walking or dieting – it takes at least two weeks of incorporating it into your daily rhythm of living before it becomes a habit. And so, the question here is "Am I in or out of the habit, the routine of prayer?"

A third problem of prayer might be the resistance that says, "I had to do it an awful lot when I was younger as a child – and I got to the point where I just didn’t like it anymore." That makes about as much sense as saying, "I ate, everyday when I was a kid – so I don’t need to do it anymore." The problem is people can go on living and not even know they are spiritually starving to death. Just because we’ve done something before – doesn’t mean it carries us beyond today.

A forth is like unto the third – and it is that some of us tend to say some of the same prayers over and over. The key here is to have engaged heads and hearts – not zombie like routines and rote words. But even if you don’t feel all the words you use when you pray the same prayer again – at least it is a reminder to get your mind off yourself and directed toward God.

That’s why we use the Lord’s Prayer every week. Few of us could say that we have truly prayed every single word of that prayer every single time we’ve uttered it. Yet, we all know how powerful and important that prayer has been, is, and will be.

Table graces can be like that – they may go in one ear and out the other – but at least they remind us not to take our food for granted.

"God is good and God is great, let us thank him for our food."

If we could just live that throughout the day – the whole day! It’s really that simple. God is good and God is great – all day! Let us thank him – all day!

Fifth comes the problem of praying only in public – at those times when others notice – at church, special services or at family gatherings. Those can be important times – but personal quiet times are needed as well. Jesus put it this way in our text from Matthew,

"Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them."

If our public appearances are the only times we pray then we are all show and no grow. No, says Jesus – go to a private place and open yourself to God there.

Sixth is the problem of saying, "Well, at least I pray a little and a little prayer can’t do any harm." But my guess is if that is the case, then it won’t do much good either. Prayer only has power and meaning in a person’s life if it is truly needed. If prayer doesn’t make much difference in your life – then neither will God. When communication breaks down to a minimum with a spouse, child or friend – then the relationship breaks down as well. So too, with God.

Another problem of prayer is the feeling of inadequacy – "I don’t know how to pray very well." A student comes to the rabbi and says,

"I have a terrible problem. I can’t pray. I try to say the words but nothing happens. I don’t feel anything. What should I do?" The rabbi answers, "Pray for the ability to pray."

The point is don’t let your own sense of inadequacy get in the way – start where you are openly and honestly.

Eight, is the problem of believing that God doesn’t care about little ol’ me – so why should I bother to pray? This low view of self or distant view of God keeps us from ever knowing intimacy with God. Prayer provides the linkage in our life with God such that apathy is dissipated and hope and energy are supplied. God is not far off – God cares for each as if each were God’s own, for we are God’s own.

God cares for the one sheep that goes astray – not just the ninety-nine who don’t. The Psalmist knew despair and the feeling of alienation but as verse 17 of the Old Testament text tells us, when he went into the sanctuary of God – then he knew that God was near to him. When God is perceived as distant and we feel unworthy – explanation about God will not do – it is then that the experience of God is needed. Friends, we can experience God in prayer – just as we experience one another in human conversation.

The ninth is like unto the eighth problem of prayer and it is believing that "God doesn’t have time for everyone and lots of others need God’s help more than I do." Such a belief is based on a framework which seeks to limit God. It is projecting our limitations onto a limitless God. Honest prayer allows us to accept and release our limitations – paradoxically to one who is limitless. God may grow weary of all the millions of prayers offered each day. But God knows the importance of our need to pray and so in his great mercy God receives them everyone.

A tenth problem of prayer is to shrug off the need for it by saying, "God already knows what I’m thinking anyway, so why bother to pray?" Prayer helps us to think of things we would not otherwise think about. It helps us to take life with gratitude – not to take it for granted. Prayer helps us to see things from God’s perspective and not just our own. Prayer is an intentional way of including God in our lives when God has already included us in his.

An eleventh problem of prayer is for those of us who do a lot of it and it is this, talking more than we listen. Earlier I said that a relationship with a spouse, child or friend can break down when communication is minimized. The opposite can also cause relationships to break down – and that is when one person talks too much. When we talk too much or are always focused on what we will say next in a conversation – we cannot truly hear what another is saying.

I have to remind myself from time to time that God gave us two ears and one mouth that we might listen twice as much as we talk. But unfortunately many of us talk twice as much as we listen. So too, with God. Prayer is not just talking to God – but it is also listening quietly. Sometime I don’t end personal prayer with an "amen" – as a reminder of the ongoing conversation both ways with God.

And finally, a twelfth problem of prayer which is probably the most tempting and most common, and it is confusing God with a sophisticated Santa Claus. We pray for things, we pray for blessings, we pray for health and we pray and hope others will love us. We may not pray for a new red bicycle – like a young child might. But we do pray to get jobs, recover from illness, and to get ahead in life.

Yet, are these not attempts to manipulate and control God? And when we don’t get what we want – we either become disappointed or feel guilty that we didn’t pray hard enough or that God didn’t find us worthy – or give up on God altogether. Part of the problem of prayer is that we have become conditioned to control so much; cars, computers, cell phones, DVR’s, T.V.’s and all sorts of devices that respond to our every whim. When prayer is simply asking God for what we want and for the well-being of our family – we are treating prayer as some sort of disguised magic.

"Thy will be done, O God – not mine!"

Now, I do want to say that praying for things we want and that God is not involved in, is not all bad, if we can learn the side benefits – that we are not alone and we can accept the limitations of life. Prayer is being in the presence of God and understanding our life as submission and not control.

Maybe confusing God with a sophisticated Santa begins when we discover at an early age that Santa isn’t real – but we are told Jesus is - and since they are both associated with Christmas and getting gifts – we just make a subtle switch to keep the dream alive and satisfy our selfish self. Theodore Jennings says,

"The reason we have trouble with prayer is that God often gives us bread when we pray for stones."

When we pray for what we want – God gives us what we need. As we pray for increase of strength or virtue, let us remember that the answer is likely to take the form of opportunity to exercise it, like the wife who prayed for patience and was provided with an ill-tempered and irritable child.

So much of prayer is being in the presence of God – seeking guidance and direction – trusting precisely because we don’t control all – and being grateful for everything we are and have. Prayer can give us new perspective, God doesn’t give us successes or tragedies – that’s simply part of life. God does give us a new way to see them.

Like the person with terminal cancer – who stops praying for recovery – and prays for acceptance and grace to make the most of the time they have left. Gratitude and growth in God – moves us away from the problems of prayer to the potential of prayer.

Well, think back over the list of twelve problems I have mentioned – and of course there are other obstacles to prayer – and just focus on the few which apply to you. And simply ask God to help you past your problems of prayer – such that you will be drawn by the great grace and love of God – more deeply into his presence and purposes. Isn’t that what the Lord’s prayer in our New Testament lesson is all about?

In closing, these anonymous words,

"I know not if the blessing sought
will come in just the way I thought.
But leave my prayer with God alone
whose will is wiser than, my own,
assured that God will grant my quest
or send some answer far more blessed."

And today, lets not end with an Amen, but simply Thanks be to God!