Rev. Ronald E. Halvorsen
April 22, 2007 – Easter
Isaiah 55:6-13, John 20:19-29
"FLIPPING THE COIN OF DOUBT"

Today is the second week of our Spring Preaching Series entitled "Does God Really Make a Difference?" and I would like to discuss the perceived conflict between faith and doubt in our relationship with God. We will learn that within the human condition there is a wide range of faith positions, which are not only normal but actually can lead to deeper trust and intimacy with God. I hope to make my case that human doubt is OK and God is always trying to enter our lives. Let us begin with a story: The famous Swiss psychologist, Dr. Carl Jung told of a young woman patient of his who was psychologically inaccessible. He tried everything to establish a connection with her psyche in order to begin his therapy, but to no avail. He finally said in his notes, "I realized that I had to confine myself to the hope that something unexpected and profound would occur, something that would burst the intellectual state into which she had sealed herself." Jung then described a session during which the woman told about a dream she had the night before in which someone gave her a golden scarab, a costly piece of jewelry. While she was still telling this story, Jung noticed a large flying insect knocking on the window beside him. When he opened the window, a scarab, or large beetle, flew into the room and he grabbed it and said to his patient, "Here is your scarab." The woman was startled and Jung reported that this incident "broke the ice of her emotional resistance." His treatment could now begin.

Jung said, "on the shoulders of stories like these we cross the Rubicon of sheer happenstance to the shores of meaning." The insect that thumped on the window and flew into Jung's hand was no ordinary bug. In history, the scarab has perennially symbolized transformation and metamorphosis, the very things that his patient needed. To describe such events in life, Jung coined the word "synchronicity", which he defined as a "meaningful and sacred coincidence," which leads to the unfolding of human potential-coincidences, if you will, that begin to define our spirituality. Such "fugitive moments", Jung thought, connect humanity to the "great web of life." He was convinced that these sacred moments were "missing pieces to the puzzle of the human psyche", without which we are strangers to our own souls.

For all its usual brevity, an experience of synchronicity is often marked by mystery, vividness, and a sense of the sacred. Therefore, synchronicity cannot be seen as pure chance and points to a hidden order, an eternal pattern, far more than just coincidental serendipity. It points to God's grace breaking into the human condition. In the words of the theologian Paul Tillich, "Here and there in the world and now and then in ourselves is a New Creation"-the new creation of God's Spirit in Christ entering our lives.

Evelyn Underhill, in her book Mixed Pasture, describes how these "strange little intimations of beauty and holiness", which flash up through life present us with a dilemma. Are they the faint signs of a greater reality, an experience with which we can grow, or mere "will-o-the-wisps"? Shall we trust them and give them priority, or dismiss them with brief curiosity or indifference? Are these small spiritual experiences, which lie in the periphery of our intellect, testimonies to a larger truth? According to Underhill, it is in this fringe area that we each must make a choice, and that choice will begin to expand our spiritual character. It is in this fringe area that true religious faith is born.

Frederick Buechner, a Presbyterian minister and writer, in his book Listening to Your Life, says that "God speaks to us through our lives, but often it takes many years and many further experiences before we start to glimpse, or think we do, a little of what that meaning is." Even then, he adds, "we glimpse it only dimly, like the first trace of dawn on the rim of night, and it is a meaning that we cannot fix and be sure of." Yes, God speaks to us in simple, yet profound, ways.

As God's children our dilemma is how often we miss these special soul moments. How limited our capacity is to witness the sacred connections that are all around us every day. In spite of our almost desperate need for meaning in our live, we often dismiss them as mere happenstance-definitely not a sign of God's grace. How often we avoid the "inner work" we must do to cultivate our souls and prepare ourselves to be receptive to these mini-theophanies, that enter our lives at unexpected times with unusual power.

It is now two weeks since the magnificent Easter celebration held in this sanctuary. If ever there is a time of religious joy and hopefulness, it is on Easter Day. However, we all woke up the following Monday to a world that has seemingly not changed one iota because of what we celebrated one day earlier. The faithful join with the skeptical in periods of doubt about Jesus' call-"Peace be with you." After the events in the world and in Virginia this week, we wonder where the peace is and we struggle to sustain the fragile peace we have in our lives. And this is where, I believe, the power of today's gospel lesson about "Doubting Thomas" comes in.

Recall the story from John’s Gospel for a moment. Thomas was absent from the gathering of the disciples when Jesus appeared to them following that first Easter sunrise. He had been a faithful follower during Jesus' ministry. We can only guess where he was and what he was doing. But, it's safe to say that he was probably off somewhere grieving. He had been captured by the vision of Christ’s kingdom, he had witnessed the miracles, he had experienced changed hearts and lives and had taken an active role in shaping the dream of the good news. This all seems to have been lost on the cross and he probably was out somewhere wandering the countryside trying to make sense of a loss that jarred every fiber of his being. There were doubts and emotional separation, for sure, and, I submit, these were normal human feelings and questions. What happened to the dream? How can the kingdom of peace come from the darkness of the tomb? But, Jesus appears and Thomas in that moment of reborn hope and rekindled faith responds, "My Lord and my God!" In an instant, the coin of doubt was flipped, and hope returned.

Thus, the message of Thomas is that it is OK to have doubt; it is OK to feel lonely and separated from God. Thomas was not the human aberration, but the norm. Somewhere along the way we have been taught that a radical dichotomy exists between faith and doubt-faith is good and doubt is bad, faith builds up and doubt destroys, faith nurtures and doubt stifles. But, according to the witness of scripture, doubters have lots of company. We know that when Jesus first appeared to the ten disciples in a locked room they were skeptical, but when they saw his hands and his side they believed that Jesus was indeed the risen Lord. But is there not value in doubt? Isn't doubt a natural and healthy part of the human condition? Can personal faith ever take on real depth and meaning without the honest wrestling questions of doubt force upon us? The question is not whether doubt is good or bad. The question is whether faith can take root in anything else. In a very real way, Thomas is each one of us, and perhaps his story tells us more about faith than it does about doubt. Out of separation and loneliness comes the potential for intimacy, out of the reality of doubt, the possibility of faith is born.

Thus, a faith that is grounded and growing honors the value of doubt. Thomas comes to his expression of faith "My Lord and my God!" only after expressing his doubt. Faith, the kind of faith that helps us through "the dark nights of the soul" each of us must endure from time to time, rarely comes without questioning and doubt. In fact, it usually comes as a result of questioning and doubt!

In 1917, the German theologian Walter Otto described his formula for the process of religious belief. He wrote, "First the god, then the dance, and finally the story." Otto believed that all religions begin in theophany, the real encounter with God's Spirit. This experience can seemingly be as simple as that experienced by Jung and his patient and need not be as dramatic as the burning bush encountered by Moses or the events on the road to Damascus for Paul. It is, however, personal and profound and Otto would argue has the effect of making human beings want to reenact, or make present again, the experience through what he calls, "dance and story," or the liturgy and writings of the church. But, the dance and the story are meaningless without the god-event, without the experience, however fleeting, of a connection to God's Spirit through a profound personal experience. And when Jesus said to his disciples in our lesson today, "Receive the Holy Spirit," he was emphasizing a new message-that God does unveil mysteries that often go beyond our knowledge and often defy our worldly intellects. And this is given to us as a gift. A gift that we do not necessarily ask for or deserve, a gift to all, not just the faithful, or the churched, or the godly. I would imagine that most of us are here this morning because we want to build on the God-events in our lives, while challenging our inevitable doubts.

So, each of us is constantly challenged to look at the world twice and ask, "Is there something of the sacred here?" When we are trapped in conflict, loneliness, sickness, or grief, we need to ask, "Am I overlooking an experience of God's Spirit seeping into my life? Can I begin to see the ‘gem in the darkness?’ Am I able to recognize the profound difference between mere coincidence and synchronicity-between chance happening and an exultation of grace? Can I begin to see the flip side of the coin of doubt?"

Therefore, the story of Thomas teaches us a valuable lesson-doubt is not the opposite of faith, rather doubt and aloneness have a constructive and positive role to play in faith development. We must realize that humankind has always faced unresolved issues of faith-questions that seem to have no easy answers. Questions and doubts are not the byproducts of immature faith, rather they lead to a deeper faith. When we fail to utter the simple phrase, "I don't know," we rob faith of its humanity. The Thomas story shows us that Jesus did not meet doubts with criticism and judgment, but rather with patience and a manifestation of grace.

So, in conclusion this morning, I would like to ask three questions: (1) "Can we as pilgrims on the journey of faith give voice to our doubts without being made to feel like a second class Christian, or a Doubting Thomas? (2) Is it not the function of this community of faith to encourage an open discussion of doubts? (3) Should this church be viewed by those who are seeking a church home not as a place that has all the answers, but as a place for people who cling to their faith in spite of the uncertainties of life?" I hope the answer to these three questions is a resounding "YES!" for First Church. In times of crisis and in the most humdrum of our days, God speaks to us and really does make a difference. The message is often veiled and subtle so it is left to us to delve its meaning through faith and prayer. And in this process, we can learn the benefit of doubt and the need for a balance between distance and intimacy in our relationship with God. We can learn to look at the world twice, flip the coin of doubt, and realize that like other faint-hearted pilgrims, a Presence has walked with us in our journey. This Presence has not always provided us with obvious answers, but has led us, nonetheless, on a journey of deeper spiritual growth. Thanks be to God! AMEN.