Rev. Susan M. Craig
February 4, 2007
Genesis 1: 26-27, Galatians 3: 25-28
Matthew 15: 21-28
"What About Women?"

What about women? It may surprise you to find this question added to the "Tough Questions" addressed to date in our series – which has included the subjects of life, peace and poverty. But it is just that reaction of surprise that calls us importantly to look at this subject. We plan to do this in two ways; first, by looking at women from the vantage of being members of First Congregational Church of Greenwich in Fairfield County, Connecticut in this year of 2007, and then, by directing our concerns more broadly considering women’s concerns across our nation and beyond.

In an effort to find a way of beginning we have chosen the image of a table, for tables are places where we all, men and women, find ourselves and discover our roles in the course of our daily living. At the start of our time here in the Meetinghouse you were invited to think about the tables in your lives and the roles you play at these tables. The kitchen table, the classroom table, the conference table, the eight foot tables that anchor our church meetings - there are many familiar tables, and those that come unexpectedly in our lives. At these tables we discover ourselves and share our gifts. I trust and pray that we also bring along our faith, which can make through our time at these tables a transforming difference.

Three women have consented to share stories and reflections from their lives as women of faith. As you shall hear, they are each uniquely different, which we hope will encourage you to consider the uniqueness of your own faith journeys. So let us begin.


Lynn O’Gorman

For me, being a woman of faith in this world and this church is an ongoing process. In the all-better, open and affirming world, it should be no different from that of a man. But that is not reality. We all have our roles in life and as much as they can coincide and overlap, they are different, but equally valuable.

My journey began here at First Church as a child sitting at a church school table in a classroom in the yellow house across the street. There, my teacher, Dan Brown, made an impression on me and my faith began to matter. As soon as I was old enough, I began teaching – sitting again at a church school table but then in a different role.

Through my 20’s and 30’s I wanted everything to be equal as I worked my way forward. I am part of the generation that saw women take prominent places for the first time in business, medicine, professional sports, and in the ministry. I wanted equality for women in all settings, and I still do. But, I realize that there are different definitions of "equal." There are things that naturally, oh, I hate to say that, but that naturally fall into a woman’s bailiwick. Even though I realize that men can nurture, change diapers, set the table, serve dinner and make quilts, the odds of a great number of them doing so - is slim!!

On the other hand, I have enjoyed being outside selling Christmas trees and I can, and have, used the chainsaw and moved large trees. If however, Eric Kreuter or some other strong man was there, I was not upset if they jumped in. I have driven a pick-up truck up a mountainside in Honduras on the way to Subirana, and when it stalled, been glad that Fred Laffan could jump-start it for me - especially as it meant coasting backwards down the hill with a drop off on one side!!

First Church has given me the opportunity to spread my wings and use my abilities to reach out to others and live my faith in ways that years ago would not have been available to anyone, much less women.

The day that Tom Stiers asked me to serve communion with him at the table just to my right was one of the most moving days of my church life. When I was asked by Sally and Susie over a lunch table in the Oriental Gourmet and other lunch spots to be a youth advisor for trips to Maine, Honduras, and later Israel, I realized gender was not playing a part. These were necessary roles that needed to be filled as we lived out our faith with our young people.

You should also know that, despite my enjoyment of trucks and the chainsaw, I am more than willing to make a casserole, comfort a crying baby or plan a reception for a memorial service, more typical female roles. Just don’t ask me to knit a prayer shawl….I know my limitations!!

As a woman if faith, I treasure the freedom and many opportunities I have had and still have to act upon my faith.


Angela Stevens

My name is Angela Stevens and I come to you this morning to share a family story, a story that, for my daughter Becca and me, has become a cornerstone of our life and faith journey.

Some years ago, I was chronically ill, having suffered tests and treatments and regimens with no results. It was a "good day" when I could both shower and make supper. I was debilitated in mind and body, preparing to die. I searched for healing, looking for God in various religious practices, the 23rd Psalm was my nighttime prayer before sleep. Becca was 15.

One night we awakened at 3am in the morning, gasping for air, our lungs filled with noxious fumes. Out onto the front stoop we plunged, into the frigid winter air, wrapped in blankets. My fuzzy mind was racing: What is happening? What am I to do? …I cannot take any more. Somehow we managed until 7am, going inside and back out, alternating warmth with fresh air, and packing some clothes and things into the car.

From there on, I was on "automatic" one might say. I say that God was at the steering wheel. We drove to a friend’s house, not a close friend, no one I had ever even had dinner with, a mother of one of Becca’s classmates, …but as I said, I was not thinking, just acting on what? Woman’s intuition? Survival instinct? God-speaking?

We rang the doorbell and were welcomed warmly, instantly, without questions, by a woman of modest means and quiet ways. She offered us food, a shower, but most of all, love. Becca went to school. Through my fog, I turned to the task of finding out what was wrong with my house, calling contractors and specialists, building inspectors and fire marshals. The hours stretched into days. We traveled from house to house, living out of our car, the trunk filled with clothes and sleeping bags, randomly showing up at someone’s house…But was it random?

At every house, day after day, a woman welcomed us to the table and into her family’s life, ministering to us in her own way, with her own gifts to share. Each woman had her own story and burdens, yet there was room for us, on the couch and at the table - and it was enough.

Years later, we still reminisce about those ten days of spontaneous hospitality. The simplicity and the intimacy of this experience has forged deep relationships among us. We speak of how amazing it was - for me, the strong, independent one to ask for help. For others, absent was the compulsive need to clean, to set a perfect table, to prepare a special meal; dropped were the masks we often wore. Present were women made in God’s image.

For each of us, these four women, Becca and me, that time was a miracle, a miracle filled with love, giving, sharing, generosity, and spirit. Now, this story could perhaps have been about men, but it wasn’t, not this one anyhow. And…I was healed.


Susie Craig

A Church School table, the kitchen tables of welcoming friends, now let us look to the meeting tables here at First Church – for they, too, have their stories to tell, as the women of First Church have gathered around them literally for centuries. The coming together of women anywhere and everywhere has amazing potential and power and in the case of First Church is responsible for the writing of several chapters in our church history. Debbie LaCivita is one for whom these gathering tables have been an anchor in her faith journey. Let us hear from her.


Debbie LaCivita

When Susie asked me to think about my faith journey as a woman at First Church, I was stumped. How is my perception, my experience, different from that of a man? After all, aren’t we all simply God’s children, "precious in His sight", as the song goes? Then I thought about all the young women and girls growing up now in this church, and I realized that their experience is very different from that of women growing up only a generation ago.

Not so long ago, the women of First Church were not allowed to serve in leadership positions. There were no women trustees or deacons. They were not allowed to serve communion. Women ministers became a reality in the UCC after World War II, and for us in 1954. Marion Faye Stickney was hired to be the ordained Director of Religious Education. Still for many years, the idea of a woman as a minister remained a new and controversial idea. In many churches, denominations and faiths, it is still far from reality. Hard to imagine.

But, even when women were not directly involved in our church’s leadership, this church relied on their strength. Women enjoyed certain rights in the Congregational Church and at First Church specifically, long before similar rights were recognized generally in society. In the 1860’s they were voting members and they used that right to vote the men out of the congregation for bad behavior. While they could not assume leadership roles, they did organize the Ladies Aid Society, the precursor of today’s Women’s Fellowship, which was a significant force in raising money for outreach, and volunteering to help realize the church’s mission efforts.

Today our strength is recognized, affirmed and welcomed. Women serve as trustees and deacons. The Women’s Fellowship also operates the Rummage Room, raising over $100,000 annually for outreach. The women who manage and oversee the operations of that business are performing a service that shows up directly in the bottom line of this church – and their efforts benefit many, many women and children here at home and worldwide.

We have, indeed, come a long way. I remember sitting around a table in the Lounge at the first meeting of Nights Off! as each woman present was asked to describe herself in one word. One woman was "tough", another "brave". Surprised? My word was "appreciative" – and I was and I am. There were many gifts around the table that evening, gifts of many different kinds. I appreciate all the gifts that women have given throughout our church’s history. It is a history we should not forget, a history we must pass on, and a history we can build on.


Susie Craig

We have been given gifts this morning, stories of faith discovered at different tables and then lived freely and courageously. As Debbie said, we have come a long way. And, as you may have noticed, as we describe what faithful living means to us, it has been done also welcoming the partnership of men and participation of men.

That is not possible for the vast majority of women in the world, and places in the United States are not exempt from that definition of "world". In the current decade in which we are living, it is a fact that "Women do two-thirds of the world’s work, receive 10 percent of the world’s income, and own 1 percent of the means of production."¹ From our vantage point, you would think that there would be more equality between men and women. There is not, and unfortunately, trends are moving in the opposite direction.

Women the world over, beginning right here in this community, are victims of domestic violence. This sad and dangerous condition impacts every class, racial community, geographic region and kind of loving relationships. Family violence knows no boundaries.

Nor are the enslavement of women, the mutilation of women, the rape and murder of women just factors in countries run by one religion, they are much more widespread. Meetings such as the 1995 Women’s Conference in Bejing, and the year 2000 meeting at United Nations have responded to these injustices calling nations to strive toward empowerment for women and gender equality. The laws of these nations are not changing very fast.

Today our women who spoke have celebrated their freedom within the church and within the world as they know it. It is also true that our youngest generation of women in the church has been somewhat removed from the struggles that brought about these freedoms. We also need to be aware of the hard and life-saving work that still needs to be done, and the responsibility we hold for women in need everywhere.

To do this is not an easy task. To do this, we need God’s help. So, it is to the one table we all hold in common, our communion table, that we will soon turn and gather seeking God’s strength and nourishment for the journey. That table is set and welcomes all who would come. Thanks be to God. Amen.

Benediction
The table is where we meet God in one another and break bread. The table is where the invisible becomes visible. Thanks be to God. May it continue to be so in the name of our Creator, Redeemer, and Sustainer. Amen.

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¹Richard H. Robbins, Global Problems and the Culture of Capitalism, (Allyn and Bacon, 1999), P. 354